Mark Johnston

Move On

Are there any other agonizers out there?  (Don’t spell-check “agonizer” – it’s not a word.  See, I’m already agonizing over using it.  Pitiful.)

Is there anyone else who wrestles with the paralysis of analysis, who worries about the decisions and impressions you’re making… or not making?

I can be an agonizer at times.   I worry that I wasted this hour; need to follow up on that person; should’ve said more at that moment; less at this one.

I can quickly become crippled by this incessant rehashing of my life, trying to figure out where I went wrong and how to make it right.

There’s a time and place for such careful introspection, of course.  Too many people in our culture – too many believers even – are stunted and stifled by the opposite problem.  They rarely reflect on their decisions; infrequently pausing to consider what is motivating, distracting, or tempting them.  Consequently, they’re destined to keep repeating the same stupid mistakes, making the same stupid choices, wasting the same chunks of never to be regained time – over and over and over again.

But for those of us who suffer from agonizitis (I’m on a roll now), here’s the thing we have to admit: it’s pretty stinking selfish.  When we transcend healthy reflection and enter the realm of self-obsession, we leave God’s grace behind.  A constant “tinkering with our souls” (thank you A.W. Tozer) is simply another sign of our own human nature running sickeningly amok.

Paul said, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do" (Romans 7:15).  But he didn't stop there.  He recognized how screwed up his human nature was and then moved on in Christ, declaring - "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1).

Maybe it’s time to lay aside questions like “why did I do that?” and “what’s wrong with me?” long enough to get in a good, hard gaze at a holy God; a God who is unimpressed by our agonizing, yet infinitely passionate about our joyful surrender to his grace. 

Maybe it’s time to pray for someone else.  Maybe it’s time to simply trust God with “why did I do that?” and ask instead, “What do you want me to do now?”  Stop agonizing.  Bring some closure to your reflection.  Leave the needs of your own soul in the capable hands of God and focus on the needs of another.  Move on. 

Sunday!

It was only four weeks ago that we began Fall40 – 40 days of prayer and fasting for spiritual renewal – but it seems like an eternity.

Here’s why: something significant has changed in our lives these past few weeks. 

Sunday morning we celebrated what’s happening with Brittany as she follows Jesus; looked on as Ted was baptized into Christ; applauded our powerful God for Tyler’s mom being declared cancer-free; and paused in gratitude over what God is doing through our generosity.  (You can hear it all here: http://sermon.net/yourjourney.)

Our Directional Team met Sunday afternoon; and we all expressed the same conviction: God is at work in The Journey.

It happened suddenly.  Something simply shifted.  You can feel it.  It’s a God-thing.  There’s a spiritual momentum, a freedom, an expectancy.  There’s a sense that we are each growing spiritually – gathering, connecting, and serving… becoming what God has planned all along for us to become.

There’s a new passion!

This week, show God off to the world around you.  Do good works – because good works.  Meet someone who works down the hall.  Ask the bank teller how her day is going.  Tell a neighbor you’re praying for his marriage – and do it.  Paint a picture of the generous, rich-in-mercy God you serve.

Make your Daddy proud.

Ride the wave.

Generous

We’ve crossed the line.  We’re past the halfway mark of Fall40 (Fall40 is a 40 day season of prayer and fasting for spiritual renewal we embrace each fall at The Journey).

 

This week our focus has been fasting media.  For me, that’s meant no Facebook.

 

No Twitter.

 

No TV.

 

No weather.com.

 

I feel richer in my spirit.  Quieter.

 

The sense of urgency that so often fills my life until it oozes through my pores, tainting work, relationships, and play – is lessened when I do this.  My life takes on a sense of vibrancy and purpose.

 

When I’m not monitoring how everyone is doing electronically, checking the news, or keeping tabs on my favorite TV characters, I can listen more closely to the voice of God.

 

This week, I’m thinking about about generosity.  And there’s nothing to distract me from it – because I’m fasting media.

 

I’m thinking about how simple God’s principles of generosity are: give, and you’ll find happiness… horde, and you’ll cultivate misery.  They are undeniable, irrevocable laws of God’s universe.  We embrace them to our delight; we deny them to our dismay.

 

I think too much media makes us selfish, you and me; reinforces the deadly delusion that life is all about us.  The news scares us into stinginess; commercials tempt us to live beyond our means, reducing our ability – and passion – to give; the status updates of others renew our sinful desperation to keep up.

 

But I'm fasting all that.  So I'm open.  Ready to be generous.

 

How about you?

 

A generous man will prosper;

he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (Proverbs 11:25 – NIV).

Because They Said It Better

I'm cheating.  I'm posting some blogs by Journey leaders from the past week.  You know why?  Because they said it better than I could.  Enjoy:

Andrew Wilson - The "In" Crowd

Sarah Lang - "Divine"

Amy Sturgeon - Day 16

Sam Lopez - Prayer is for Wimps  

Ocean

I'm at the ocean.

I awake at 6:20 and stretch clumsily.  I stumble out of bed and try to steady my gaze upon the wide eastward window.  The first rusty hues of sunrise are bleeding up over the horizon, spilling out from under the great endless gauze of the sea.  The morning star rises and beams steadily above a single broad swath of dark gray and purple cloud.

I slide open the balcony door and sound joins sight – the rhythmic swoosh and bang of wave after wave encroaching upon the beach, each a daring soldier rushing forward into the fray and then slipping back to let another take its place.

The first hint of mustard colors the bottom of that stretch of cloud and the blueness of the sky – and of the ocean – becomes apparent.  Light begins to glint and dance on the surface of the rolling waters.  The roar of the waves’ approach and recession remains steady.

I sat in a restaurant aboard a cruise ship not long ago.  The walls were covered with black and white portraits that suddenly became infused with color as we dined.  The place was filled with oohs and ahhs, murmurs of appreciation – appreciation of artificial greens and blues and reds and purples.

Paltry in comparison to the picture my Father now paints outside my window.

The enormous basin of the ocean, brimming with its life-giving waters, stretches out in front of me infinite and boat-less.  The morning star dims as blue surrounds it.  The rust brightens and the cloud seems threatened by the light’s expansion, pieces of its once proud thickness breaking off and drifting away, led by a distant wind.  And all the while, the waves march on.

Oh waves of God, crash upon my soul.  Oh ocean of divine love, advance upon my soul.

Oh risen Son of God, rise upon my heart.  Oh sky of God illuminate within my heart.

Oh daybreak of God, come – bring your bright heaven to my dark earth.

This is the depth of my pleasure: after viewing the unfolding of his work outside my window, I’m invited to converse with the artist.

Sunday in Review

 

It’s 9 o’clock, cold outside, and Susan is reading “Ramona” to Maddy.  It’s a good life.

Here’s what went down at The Journey today:

· People put their faith in Jesus.  In both gatherings, people said “I believe in Jesus; I want to be a part of the church.”  That’s what it’s all about!

· We kicked off “Church: Simpler than You Think.”  The metaphor is still bouncing around in my brain: labor and materials… Jesus is building the church, and he’s using us.  The church isn’t a completed project that produces spiritual goods for people to consume; it’s a work in progress and we are the materials Jesus is using to build with.  Are you in on it?

· The band nailed it as usual.  Thank God for gifted people who offer their best to Christ for his glory so we can experience him every weekend!

· We ran out of chairs in our leadership team meeting this afternoon!  God is raising up next level leaders at The Journey.  Andrew did a top-shelf job facilitating.  Congratulations to this month’s Rock Stars, Amy Sturgeon (Newcomers Meeting Director) and Sarah Lang (Life Groups Director).

Here’s what else is going on:

· Fall40 continues.  This week, we’re praying and fasting – doing without what we think we need so we can become more aware of the One we truly need.  Don’t miss the moment.  We’re asking God, “what are you doing, and how do we get in on it?”

· “Church: Simpler than You Think” continues this Sunday.  I’m going to paint a picture of where God is taking The Journey specifically and it has to do with you.

· Sunday, November 1^st is going to be a uniquely amazing day.  We’re moving forward together.  Stay tuned.

· Shhh… The Journey met with a real estate agent this past week.  Keep it on the down-low.  Pray for God’s direction.

Stay warm tonight – physically and spiritually!  Be the materials this week.  Be the church.

You Need to Learn to Communicate Better

The other morning, Susan and I were having an, uh, disagreement.  On a scale of 1 to 10, it was only a 2 or 3… but my daughter was listening in.

After our “conversation” had died down, my daughter walked into the kitchen, pointed her finger at my chest, and said, “You need to learn to communicate better.”

She’s eight. 

It’s frustrating to sit at the feet of my eight year old daughter and learn age-old wisdom like that.  But of course, she’s right.

I do need to learn to communicate better. 

And it’s not just with Susan.  I need to learn to communicate better with God.  Too often, I hold things in instead of openly spilling them out to him; I stubbornly persist with my silly agendas instead of bowing my will to his plans.  And far, far too often, I simply don’t believe that what I ask for in prayer is really going to happen.

There’s some consolation in the fact that I’m not alone.  There was an entire church that grappled with the same problem.  They needed to learn to communicate better.  They were united, focused, and earnest in their prayers; but they didn’t really believe God would do anything significant about it. 

Remarkably, he did anyway (see Acts 12).  So I guess God isn’t waiting for our communication to improve before he acts; he’ll take our best efforts and do miracles.  That’s what the next 40 days are going to be about at The Journey.

I’m going to preach about it tomorrow.  If you’re close, come; if you’re distant you can listen in here beginning Sunday evening: http://sermon.net/yourjourney (you can also subscribe here: http://yourjourney.typepad.com/).

We’re going to learn to communicate better – but God isn’t going to wait until we’ve got it nailed down to work in our lives.

Sunday

I’m sitting here at the island in my kitchen (which is not as exciting as an island in the Bahamas for those of you who are wondering), reflecting on today’s Journey experience.

It was awesome. 

Journey Kidz was off the chain.  In the auditorium, the band led us into God’s presence (“Center” is a song that sums up what I’ve been feeling lately… wanting Christ to be the center of everything I do and become).  Andrew closed out rePete with reTurn the Favor from Acts 3 – what a story.  After a brief interruption from Kanye, Eddie talked about his Life Groups experience in the first gathering, and Amy hers in the second.  At the end of the second gathering, I got so inspired I even hauled out the famed Journey whiteboard and drew one of my incredibly artistic depictions of spiritual growth. 

Andrew challenged us to do just one thing to apply the message: join a Life Group.  I hope you did.  If not, you can do it now by clicking here: http://www.yourjourney.tv/lifegroups.html.

I’m anticipating to the core what Jesus is going to do in our lives this fall!  If you’ve been craving spiritual growth, here’s the path: put your faith fully in Jesus and gather, connect, and serve at The Journey.

·     Gather next Sunday for Pray it Forward, a message that will bring the fuzziness of spiritual disciplines into a crystal clear picture for you.  If you’ve struggled with how and why to pray and how to believe God to do supernatural stuff when you do, don’t miss it.

·     Connect beginning the week after in a Life Group for friendship and spiritual growth.  Seriously: the authentic community of groups is an essential ingredient in our Jesus walk.  Did I mention you can sign up here http://www.yourjourney.tv/lifegroups.html?

·     Serve on a volunteer team and give generously this fall.  Offer your time, talent, and treasure to Christ.  Email andrewwilson@yourjourney.tv if you’re not volunteering yet and you want in on the action.

And this is the best part: next Sunday during Pray it Forward, we’re going to launch forty days of prayer and fasting.  We’re going to describe – simply and biblically – how to do it.  I think Jesus is excited about it.  I think the devil is ticked off about it.  I think some things won’t change without it.  I think amazing things will happen as we do it.

The Horrible Truth About Your Pastor

He’s a human being.

Yep.  He worries – like you do.  He puts his pants on (or she puts her pants on – or her skirt… or, well, you get the picture) one leg at a time… just like you do.  He gets overwhelmed… just like you do.

He feels pressured sometimes.  Fifty years ago, he would’ve been a success if he helped people grow close to God.  Today, to be a “success” he needs the gift-set of a CEO.  He’s supposed to keep attendance and finances on a steadily upward trajectory, speak with a remarkable blend of hipness/diplomacy/skill/humor/passion/anointing, smile constantly, maintain a blog, twitter, network, write a book, regularly convert other Starbucks customers to Jesus, speak at conferences, be covered in at least one national publication… and in his spare time help people grow close to God.

The thing is he’s not a superhero to be revered or an archaic throwback to be derided or a goofball to be avoided.  He’s a human being who happens to have been called by God to help you grow spiritually.  He’s a leader and a servant; a boss and a busboy; a vision-caster and an empathic listener.  Sometimes he leans too far in one direction, sometimes in the other.  That’s because he’s human.

But here’s what else I know about your pastor: he prays for you.  He works hard to shepherd and feed you.  Know why?  Because he loves you.  He loves you, the passionate Jesus-follower who gives their best to Christ and his body…  He loves you, the faithful supporter who’s always at everything… He loves you, the sporadic attendee who assures him “you’re plugged in” when you both know you’ll forget you said that by the time you get to the parking lot…  He even loves you, the critic who questions his vision and motives and the direction of the church when he’s not around to defend himself.

His heart, all at once, bubbles over with anticipation and hope for you when you move forward, grasp a little more of God’s grace, and do good for others… and breaks for you when you stumble, suffer, or slack off spiritually.  He loves to see you succeed, rejoicing with you in your victories.  He hurts to see you fail, weeping with you over your weaknesses.  He forgives you.  He hopes you’ll forgive him too.

He has nothing to gain in this world by leading and serving you.  He’s burned his bridges.  All of his “could’ve been’s” have died at the cross of Jesus so he could do this.  And you know what?  He doesn’t mind at all.  If he was asked to run as president, he’d decline… because pastoring you – and doing it well – is more important to him than anything else in the world.

I just thought you’d want to know.  Your pastor, whoever he or she may be, is first of all a human being just like you; who just happens to have been called by God to help you grow spiritually.

And he’s glad.  I hope you are too.

Half an Hour

What a difference half an hour makes.

In my early 20’s, traveling full-time and staying in hotels or someone’s guest bedroom, I woke up at around 8:30 every morning.  Then I took a job at DuPont a couple of years later, and starting getting up at 7:30.

Madeline began school three years ago, so I arose at 7:15.  Then Conner had his own bus to catch, and it was 6:45.

We’ve moved and Conner’s bus comes earlier now.  So every weekday morning at 6:15, the alarm clock begins its incessant beeping.  Susan swats at the snooze button like a drunk woman trying to bat away a bumblebee; we sleep for six more minutes and then – slowly and with deep regret – we get up.

But not this morning.  This morning, Conner woke up at 5:45.  And he found something funny.  So he chortled and sang in his bedroom (five feet from ours) for 30 minutes while we tried in vain to continue sleeping.

5:45.  What a difference half an hour makes.

Think about it: half an hour in a boring meeting at work versus half an hour lying in a floating lounge chair in your best friend’s pool sipping iced tea on a hot afternoon.  Half an hour working on your taxes versus half an hour playing catch with your kid.  Half an hour getting a root canal versus half an hour reading and re-reading a glowing performance review and the details of the raise that will be accompanying it.

What a difference half an hour makes.

Half an hour soaking up the presence of God versus half an hour…  You fill in the blank.

Are any of your “half an hour’s” reserved for your Father in heaven?  Exclusively focused on him?  Does 1/48^th of your day belong to the creator and sustainer of your life?  Sometime in the next 24 hours, will you pick half of one and spend it praying, worshiping, studying, listening?

After all, half an hour can make a big difference.

When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour (Revelation 8:1 – NIV).

For more of Mark's written murmurings, along with those of a growing number of Journey leaders, visit http://yourjourney.typepad.com/.