I'll put the confession out front: I debated whether or not I would write this blog. It caused a collision between my self-doubt and God's Will. (Guess who won?) The internal battle was waged and went from definitely yes to absolutely no. It meant a time commitment. Ugh! It meant being creative...consistently! Double ugh! I never considered myself a good writer or creative - labels that stuck probably from my school days. But the main hesitation stemmed from exposing myself. Did I want to step forward?
Stepping forward means redefining the way I view myself, allowing other possibilities and labels (these ones are my chosing) to shape my growth, my future. But ultimately the decision is laid before God. I kept hearing yes, even when I said no. Even though this seems like a small thing, it is a step in the right direction. For what God desposited in me is not for my use alone, but for the body. Ultimately, this will lead to something more.
I am a new creation; the old is gone, the new is here (2Cor. 5:17). Once we become followers of Christ, our identity changes. This is more than a reformation, but a transformation from the inside. (Don't worry, nothing weird or scary happens!) What we were trying to achieve or change about ourselves in our own strength, is now achieved through God's supernatural imparting. Therefore, whatever was false or untrue must be stripped away whether it was a behavior, an attitude, or a label. Now, I must identify myself wholly in Christ. I look to my Father and see hope and potential.
I have to allow God to shape my view of myself, not to be bound by others or mainly myself. The old labels must be sloughed off, which is much harder than whipping out my Holy Ghost stick and bidding them gone. I must instead go through the work of identifying myself so closely with God. I must cultivate an intimacy which comes only from spending heart-felt time alone with God and his Word. It is a willingness to be challenged, stretched, changed. It is the sometimes painful process of letting God's light shine in the dark inner recesses of my soul, laying myself bare and vulnerable. It is exposing the lies for what they are and finally believing what God says of me.
It is allowing God to retool, reshape, or even discard an old pattern of behavior. For each of us it is different. Maybe it is allowing God to dissolve a temper, unforgiveness, worry, or fear. Or maybe it is finally grasping hold of a God-given dream, allowing ourselves to breath new hopes, possibilities, and futures. It is living like we believe our worth and potential as identified in Christ. It is believing we are passionately loved by a parent who would give up anything to be with us.
Open the windows, turn up the shades, and get out the dust cloth. Let's allow God to bring a freshness and vitality to these old dwelling places. Who knows what we will shape up to be...But what God has spoken into my heart, I'm keeping dusted-off and front-and-center.
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