Now, I’m reading through Ephesians, following along with the Bible-in-a-Year plan (or a year and a half…maybe two – I’m busy!). I love the book of Ephesians, written by Paul, a passionate, devoted, insightful, cranky-at-times man of God. He wrote it around the year 60 to a body of believers who lived in Ephesus in modern-day Turkey, mainly as a letter to strengthen and encourage the churches in the area.
However, I have to admit, it has a few verses that cause me to cringe. I have to slow down and read deeper. You, ladies, know the ones: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Eph. 5:22-24 NIV). Ok, I confess, I hear nails scratching down the chalk-board when I read that. Now, this is the hundredth time I’ve read this book – not really – but I’ve already worked through this; why is this bothering me again?!
Before my life in Christ, I prided myself on my fierce independence. I wanted no one to support me! I worked; I paid my bills. I was smart, capable. Dependence showed weakness. In fact, when I had my first child, I wretched in the fact that my heart wanted to stay home with my son; I wanted to quit working. I hated my vulnerability! But my heart won out. I took the step of complete trust in my husband. And you know what, it was one of the better decisions I’ve made.
So, I stop, I read the verses right before and right after. Paul implores all the readers – husbands, fathers, brothers – free and slave – to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Then in verse 25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Paul is talking about a mutual submission of sorts here. This isn’t the twisted worldly view of the word “submit” where there is an abuse of power. In Paul’s use of the word, it is a yielding to each other.
Paul was inherently concerned for the welfare of the church. He sought to build up the body of Christ. That couldn’t happen if people were concerned for their own self-interest. He sought unity in the body. As Christians, we must yield to each other, putting each other’s needs above our own. If my husband were attempting to love me (and I believe he is) the way Christ loved the church, to love me as his own body, then what fear do I have in yielding to him? There is nothing twisted or abusive about that. He has my best interest at heart, as I do for him. Beauty arises out of that kind of mutuality.
This kind of submission is walking in harmony with my husband, recognizing and appreciating his unique gifts and abilities. It is being a source of support and encouragement. It is respect. It is love. And wow, when it’s reciprocated – watch out! It’s hot!
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